Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Men and the Alphabet

Men have taken over everything.  Thankfully, for many decades and generations, we women have been asking politely or aggressively for some of those things back.  The other day at work, I had to deal with a customer that just pushed all of my buttons and set me off.  Now by this time, I do not recall any of the conversation or why the customer called, but at some point, the customer had to give me the VIN to a vehicle.  Now as I am sure most of you know, when giving words for the alphabet – such as A for Apple – most of the time, the letters are associated with a man’s name or something male.   Like this:  B for Boy, C for Charlie, D for Daniel, E for Edward, F for Frank, G for George, H for Harry, J for John or Jack, K for King, O for Oscar, P for Peter, R for Robert, S for Sam, T for Tom, V for Victor and W for William.  Right there, those are 16 male things for the alphabet; that is more than ½ of the alphabet.  How the hell did we women get mostly pushed out of the frigging alphabet???  I mean, I know we have M for Mary, N for Nancy and Q for Queen, but those three are hardly a consolation prize are they?  3 whole letters out of 26 total.  How pathetic!
After years of working in insurance, using the above words has been ingrained in me, but I am trying to change it.  There are times, I will admit, that I do fall back on using the afore-mentioned words, but I try really hard not to.  For many months I had a piece of paper taped to my desk that had a selection of words to use for the alphabet and NONE of them were male related.  For example, for the letter “B” I had Billboard, Bridge and Bird.  For “C” I had Cash, Candle and Checkers.  For “P” I had Practice, Patience and Plastic.  For “E” I had Electric, Eggshell and Effort.  Sometimes using the words “Patience” and “Effort” reminded me to put in a great deal of Effort in showing Patience with some of the customers I have to deal with.  ;-)
Anyway, after my conversation with this customer who just got deeply under my skin, I told my co-worker about men even taking over the f’ing alphabet.  I then said with much disdain and aggression in my voice ‘that when men start taking over periods and childbirth, then they can have something as simple and gender-neutral as the alphabet too.”**
So for any of you ladies reading this, I strongly urge you to stop using male words for the alphabet.  Give those hairy, power-obsessed, dictating, greedy bastards a swift kick in their male-tacos and roar “ENOUGH.  We are tired of being put down and pushed around.  Give us our fair share.  And while you are at it, quit scratching your balls in public.”
 **By the way when I told that to my co-worker she almost fell out of her chair from laughter
This post's pun courtesy of the interwebs: An elevator makes ghosts happy because it lifts the spirits.